Sinking Ship

//To know her is to see
That nothing is as it seems
She’ll show her true face when you’re
Stripped of all belief
Sweet tyrant, laying out the course with what you need
To send you through the veils
Of Eternity//

Lady Luck’s face had become uncomfortably tangible lately, Rajah reflected. She wasn’t a big fan of the Mistress of Fate showing up in the flesh and ordering her about. She preferred their relationship to be more cordial and distant, the Lady somewhere nebulously ‘far’ – something one could indicate with a vague hand gesture and insincere noise in the throat – and she left to her own devices — except for when she needed something of course.

Being pinned like a bug beneath that angry gaze was disconcerting, and she resisted the urge to scurry towards the nearest shadow. The Lady was angry, and not about a singular topic either. Rajah had put a thumb in her eye, and fucking Tes had spit in it. Nonetheless, she forced herself to raise her chin and meet that fury head on.

“It will be taken care of. You have my guarantee.”

//Crack me open or I’ll go down
On this sinking ship, don’t leave
Me to drown
Still the water bears the sound
Of my eternal plea
And all I found//

“You don’t understand this Shadow World, Tes. You think you’re going to play the hero? Pull all the secrets out in the open and the town will lift you on their shoulders? They don’t want the light shone on them or anyone else either.”

Her arguments were punctuated by the soft groans of the zed in front of her and the squishy slick slide of her shiv into its face.

“I didn’t say anything they didn’t already know.” Tes said stubbornly, “I’m not the one they should be mad at. It’s the Judge making us do the killing. It’s Lady who put us up to it. But no, let’s destroy each other, JUST LIKE THEY WANT.”

He stepped closer to her in the dark, his glow eclipsing that of Chum a few feet away. “And what has doing things YOUR way ever gotten us? What have all your years on the council and your fucking ‘Shadow World’ ever done to make anyone’s life better?” he taunted.

The words were a slap across her face.

“Don’t pretend like I didn’t help destroy Liberty Hollow right alongside you.” Rajah stammered in the silence. “And maybe you’re right and I only know one way to be – maybe I’m missing whatever it is non-Vegasians get instead of a cold stone in their chests. But I’m not convinced this isn’t just you trying to die a hero’s death so you don’t have to feel guilty about not being able to live in this world!” She grabbed his arm, the bruising around the veins visible against his pale skin and the red pulse beneath her fingers.

“If you have to run to the Milk to escape the consequences of your choices, then maybe you’re not really ready to make them.” she hissed.

//She calls you with a mirage
Of what you want to see
You fall into her arms
As she shatters all your dreams
Sweet violence, aimed to crack the shell from which you bleed
And send you through the tree of Eternity//

“You need to get your house in order.” Hammers stopped her on the path, his face concerned, stern, older.

“Yeah, yeah, I get it. Or else the MC will kick the shit out of us.” She growled, too tired to play the diplomat. Not with him.
“No, not that.” He tipped his head toward hers. “That’s only part of it.”

Her crewmate had threatened them all, allegedly, by provoking the forces that made them all dance to their tune. And yet… They could only see the missteps in the only dance they’d ever known. They didn’t tilt their ears to the music behind it. Their fear of change was as frustrating as Tes’ naivete. Wearing their boots thin on the Devil’s dancefloor.

“Thanks for the advice.” She smiled coldly, and stalked off into the night. That world was ending. They’d figure it out eventually.

//Crack me open or I’ll go down
On this sinking ship, don’t leave
Me to drown
Still the water bears the sound
Of my eternal plea
And all I found//

Willow was sobbing, running her hands over and over under the cold water. Had she herself ever felt that pain, that sorrow over being forced to do the immoral, the heinous?

Rajah couldn’t remember, feeling only the ephemeral pain of missing something she had no recollection of ever having. She had two precious things in this world, and a sense of goodness had never been among them.

Ah well.

//And all I will…//